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Trons
Junior Member
uSA
20 Posts |
 Posted - 27 Jul 2006 : 22:38:15
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Several Years ago (5) a family member did something that at the time I concidered unforgiveable. I wasn't walking with Christ at the time and I didn't want.
I've recently (for other reasons) resumed my walk with Christ and I find myself being convicted of having to forgive "the unforgiveable". I have since stopped wishing ill on the individual, but I also have not wished them well. I have just not thought about them in a year or so.
My question...How do I know in my heart that I have forgiven the person. I have been praying lately that God and Christ will give me the strength to forgive them and that He'll work his will in their lives, but does that mean I've forgiven them? It doesn't feel like it. Do I need to want to resume a relationship with this person (I honestly feel that would be asking a whole lot more then I'm capable of).
I'm searching for the answer in God's word and I can't seem to find where exactly it tells us how we'll know that we've forgiven those who have sinned against us (so that we may be forgiven).
All your help is appreciated as I learn to walk with christ again. |
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Bondservant
Forum Administrator
382 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 20:36:30
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Forgiveness is a Spiritual act that you initiate. If, from the depth of your heart and soul, you have truly forgiven this person, then it's done. Forgiveness is truly Divine and Spiritually takes place immediately within the soul of whoever is forgiving.
From what you've posted, it appears to me that your forgiveness of what this family member did in the past is not the problem. It seems that what you're having a tough time dealing with is reconciliation. Simply put, foregiveness and reconciliation are two different Spiritual acts. Sometimes, they manifest hand-in-hand with each other, but that's not always what happens. Forgiving someone doesn't necessarily mean that you must reconcile with them, so don't confuse the two.
If this family member has not repented of whatever terrible wrong he/she did that you had (5 years ago) considered unforgivable, then there is nothing Biblical that mandates you must reconcile unless that person has repented. If there is no repentance from someone who has sinned, then you are not to yoke yourself to such an unbeliever. Yes, you are to pray for his or her soul and forgive them... and that's exactly what you've already done.
If this family member has done an immoral act (which is most likely why you felt it was unforgivable 5 years ago), then repentance is necessary on their part. If he/she has not repented or has continued to do the same as 5 years ago, then most likely the immorality that shunned you away continues to lead his/her life.
You have already done what was needed to get yourself right with your Creator: You forgave regardless of the wrong that was done against you. The Christ did the same by example. He forgave others and then continued his ministry without hesitation because He knew that in the act of forgiving, it was done. It's no different for you. You forgave and forgiveness entered in to your life.
Forgiveness is a wonderful miracle.
He is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living: ye therefore do greatly err. - Mark 12:27 |
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BatKol
Advanced Member
USA
735 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 22:18:43
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quote:
Originally posted by Trons
Several Years ago (5) a family member did something that at the time I concidered unforgiveable. I wasn't walking with Christ at the time and I didn't want.
I've recently (for other reasons) resumed my walk with Christ and I find myself being convicted of having to forgive "the unforgiveable". I have since stopped wishing ill on the individual, but I also have not wished them well. I have just not thought about them in a year or so.
My question...How do I know in my heart that I have forgiven the person. I have been praying lately that God and Christ will give me the strength to forgive them and that He'll work his will in their lives, but does that mean I've forgiven them? It doesn't feel like it. Do I need to want to resume a relationship with this person (I honestly feel that would be asking a whole lot more then I'm capable of).
I'm searching for the answer in God's word and I can't seem to find where exactly it tells us how we'll know that we've forgiven those who have sinned against us (so that we may be forgiven).
All your help is appreciated as I learn to walk with christ again.
Tron you are not alone. I had also been struggling with a similar situation. What Bondservant is telling you is excellent council.
I would only add that - as hard as it might be - you need to pray for the person's well being. You might find when you start doing this you are kicking up the dust of your own pride as well as other 'spiritual ailments' we all suffer from. Trust me, it hurts like hell aside from the fact that you might even become disheartened in general realizing how deep rooted these 'passions' are and how far one might be from fulfilling the command 'be ye perfect'. This, however, is a good thing in that it enables you to do battle with the negative passions and actively work out your own salvation. Man, it hurts though. |
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kevin
Advanced Member
uSA
100 Posts |
Posted - 03 Aug 2006 : 22:26:45
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Yup,
that unforgivness can really bind you up, damn can even make you bitter,
let it go it can only stay when you hang on to it.
No one has ever twisted my arm to cause me not to forgive, I have always chosen it.
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Trons
Junior Member
uSA
20 Posts |
Posted - 04 Aug 2006 : 21:33:40
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quote:
Originally posted by BatKol
Tron you are not alone. I had also been struggling with a similar situation. What Bondservant is telling you is excellent council.
I would only add that - as hard as it might be - you need to pray for the person's well being. You might find when you start doing this you are kicking up the dust of your own pride as well as other 'spiritual ailments' we all suffer from. Trust me, it hurts like hell aside from the fact that you might even become disheartened in general realizing how deep rooted these 'passions' are and how far one might be from fulfilling the command 'be ye perfect'. This, however, is a good thing in that it enables you to do battle with the negative passions and actively work out your own salvation. Man, it hurts though.
Thank you for all the counsel. This comforts me more then you can know. I will say that I do not find it difficult to pray for this individual. I find it very easy as I do hope God and Christ will work his will in everybodies lives, not just this person. As I resume my walk with Christ, I find myself wishing well of everybody.
Bondservant, you are correct, it was the idea of reconciliation that bothered me, but I was feeling like the two went hand and hand. I couldn't find anything in the Bible that would tell me either way. I had forgotten about not being yoked with unbelievers. I thank God for all the support and counsel I recieved here...
Trons |
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Forgiveness
