An E-mail from a Cross-Dresser

Dear rich, I already know the answer to the question I am about to ask, but I guess I still need to hear it from someone else, so here it goes.

Greetings brother,

Thank you for writing me. I will pray to the Lord and help you as much as I can with your problem. It is good of you to ask a fellow brother in Christ (who is not a stranger by the way) things that you need help on. Those in Christ need to help each other, for we are powerless to do things on our own. We all need someone to be our mirror in life.

Proverbs 18:19 (Septuagint): “A brother helped by a brother is as a strong and high city; and is as strong as a well-founded palace.”

I will be very direct and honest in my responses to you. Please do not take any offense at what I may say, for I speak out of love, and out of a sincere desire to shine the light of God's Truth onto your present situation. Sometimes the truth hurts. And maybe, just maybe, the reason you are going through so much trouble is because this is God's way of chastening you. And chastisement is a token of love from the Father to his children:

Hebrews 12:8, "But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons."

You see, if we be without chastisement, we would not be his sons. But he loves us, so God uses a rod of correction to wake the sleeping disciple and get him back on course.

Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

Proverbs 23:13, "Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die."

I have been a cross-dresser for 15 years and enjoy this very much, and just enjoy it and have fun with it, and that's all, nothing else.

I understand that you may think this is not a serious offense to God, especially when it is so pleasing to you, and it appears you are not hurting anybody else by cross-dressing. But all sin, no matter how small and harmless it may seem, is pleasing to the flesh. All sin hurts another man or woman (even if it's only indirectly). And all sin is rebellion against God. Before we proceed, we must establish if cross-dressing is pleasing to the Lord, neutral, or an abomination to Him.

Deuteronomy 22:5, "The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God."

This verse is clear. Also, there is a another verse which indirectly shows that men are not to look like women:

1 Corinthians 11:14, "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?"

I am not condemning you, brother, but showing you the Word of God. Everyone, including myself, is a sinner.

And I think it is very funny and very comical that I can get dressed up in women's clothes and go out and fool everyone.

But the important thing to consider is if it is pleasing to the Lord. Also, you mentioned you enjoy the fact that you can “fool” people. Keep in mind that followers of Christ are to worship God in spirit and in Truth. In scripture, lies are an abomination to God also, as I'm sure you are aware of. To dress up as a woman is to bear false witness against your neighbor. If you are bearing false witness, you are not bearing the truth to your neighbor.

So tell me I still am the same person inside and still know the lord and still love him weather I have on nylons and high hells or have on men's clothes.

1 John 2:4, "He that saith, I know him, and keepeth not his commandments, is a liar, and the truth is not in him."

Brother, the way you act on the outside reflects how you are on the inside. If you are acting “lawless” on the outside, by sinning in public and not keeping His commands, then this reflects the heart you have also. Remember, we show our love for God by obeying His Will, not our own will. This is a hard thing to do. Jesus said, "If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me" (Luke 9:23). If you take up the cross, it means to crucify the old man daily, to die to the pleasures of the flesh.

I once went to a professional counselor once and she told me that you can do anything you want in life just as long as no one gets hurt by it. And I believe this, so tell me what do you think about this.

Typical worldly values which she learned in worldly schools that fly in the face of scriptures. She is basically saying you can sin all you want, as long as nobody gets hurt by it. But one thing she forgot is that sin hurts God. And even if you don't think your sin is hurting anybody else, the truth is it does hurt others. Your girlfriend of 9 years was obviously hurt by it. More than likely, there are others.

Our break up was because of my dressing up and she always hated it and despised it to no end. Her anger with me was so intense that we fought and argued for years on this issue until she couldn't take it no more.

The best way to handle disagreements between two people is to pray to God, and then go to scriptures to see what it says about a particular situation. And both of you should agree that you will do God's Will, whatever it is. Once you both agree to this, it not only shows love towards God, but love to the one you're disputing with. The scripture has the answer to all our problems. Once people forsake praying to God and seeking His Law for council, troubles are very sure. His Good book is a blueprint for godly living.

She filed domestic violence charges on me and we have been to court 3 times already.

Hmmm. Is your girlfriend a believer or unbeliever? The reason I ask is because going to court in this way is forbidden by God. He commands us to forgive those who trespass against us. Also, here's a verse which specifically forbids going to courts of law:

1 Corinthians 6:1,6 "Dare any of you, having a matter against another, go to law before the unjust, and not before the saints?...But brother goeth to law with brother, and that before the unbelievers"

Those involved in worldly courts are usually not believers in Christ. Many judges today, and lawyers, and others in the court room, may be unbelievers. And we are not to take our personal problems to the world and their courts, we are to take our problems to God and lay them at his feet.

Instead of going to worldly courts, God tells us what to do in this kind of a situation. After you pray, and after you discover what God's Will is, and you find out who is in the wrong according to the scripture, then read Matthew 18:15-17. This is how those in Christ solve their differences between each other.

And I have invited her to counseling 3 times now and she has rejected it.

What kind of counseling do you want to go to? If you go to a “professional”, this will be a mistake. You must go to a brother or sister in Christ, who places God first (not someone who places the current man made theory first) and preferably one who has experience in your situation. If you and her sincerely want to work out your differences, and you both wish God's Will to be done, then you both have to let go of your anger and seek God's Will together, and there will be harmony between the both of you.

And now here is me. I pray to God for hours and hours every day to lift her up.

When you pray and ask for things, do you say, “If it be your will”? Or do you just ask God for things without saying “If it be your will”?

The example of prayers in the Bible, especially of Jesus when he asked God to please not make him go through the crucifixion, Jesus stressed that ONLY if it be His Father's will to take that cup from him (Matthew 26:39-44). It wasn't His Father's Will, so Jesus suffered.

If you do pray to God by saying, “If it be your will”, then maybe it is God's Will for her to be like this. If she is an unbeliever, God doesn't want believers to be yoked with unbelievers. But remember, Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God." If it is God's Will, all this suffering is for His Glory, just like Jesus' suffering was for His glory.

On the other hand, when people do not pray that it be God's Will, then these prayers rise out of a selfish concern. It begins with a desire to manipulate God, so he may meet our needs. But we need to align self-centeredness with God, otherwise he will not hear our prayers.

She is very very proud and will fight God.

If she is not saved, the best way to convert someone is by your own godliness. When they see the light shine through you, by doing God's Will and by avoiding the things of the world, then, if it's God's Will, they will see your light and it will pierce their darkness and their heart will be opened. Either that, or they will be repelled by your light and run away. But this is the importance of Doing God's Will, and not your own. If you do your own will, there will be no hope and you will have nothing to offer them. If you do God's Will, they will see the hope of salvation and will want to know more. But if someone acts the same way as those of the world, they will see no difference between a pagan or a follower of Christ.

But for 13 weeks now God has failed to do anything.

Brother, what makes you think God has failed to do anything? You mean, he failed to do YOUR will, don't you? Maybe he is doing something, but you don't want to see it. Remember Joseph? He had a dream that he would rule his family. And what happened? His brothers sold him into slavery. Do you think when Joseph became a slave, Joseph thought God wasn't doing anything? That God failed him? When Joseph was being seduced by his master's wife, and he did God's Will by running from her and not committing adultery, and she yelled rape, and they threw Joseph in prison, do you think Joseph sat in jail for 10 years and complained that God wasn't doing anything? That he failed His promises? No.

Joseph kept his faith in God, because he knew that “all things work together for good to them that love God.” No matter how desperate things became, no matter how much suffering he went through, he knew God would keep his promises to those who do His Will. And in the end, God DID keep his promise to Joseph, because he made him ruler of Egypt. But he had to go through many trials and tribulations in order to become strong in his faith.

Hebrews 5:8, "Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;"

I made God a vow that if he would give Jane back to me that I would make a sacrifice to him and that is me and Jane together will take all my women's clothes and either burn them or give to good will or whatever.

Brother. Do you not know that this is tempting God? You do not say to God, “If you do this for me, I'll do this for you.” It does not work that way. This is from a selfish motive, and is not from the motive of wanting to do God's Will. It works the other way around. First, you sacrifice to God (Romans 12:1), and get rid of your clothes. This shows you have a sincere desire to do God's Will, and not just to have God do YOUR will. Ask God for the strength to do His Will.

Then, after this sacrifice, God will hear your prayers. THEN God will do your will ONLY if it be His Will also. And no matter what God does, you should accept it as being His Will for you, because your Creator knows what is best for you. After all, nobody knows you better than He does.

But I want this to be a sacrifice to God with Jane at my side and this will be done together as John and Jane. What is your thought on this? I feel this has to be a commitment to God as a couple not just me and I want to do this very much for God.

Well, it would be good if Jane did this with you, yes, but it MUST begin with you. You must make a commitment to God individually first, and THEN as a couple. If you go through life saying, “I won't make a commitment to God without Jane,” then what you are doing is elevating Jane to a position higher than God.

Here is a prayer for you, my friend:

“Lord, help me to appreciate Jane without elevating her above you in my heart. Help me to remember that nobody can ever take your place in my life. You are my strength, my hope, my joy, and my ultimate reward. Bring me back to reality, God. Give me an undivided heart. In Jesus' name, Amen”

Can God use me as I dress up to seek out other cross-dressers to get the word of God to them and try to convert them. or will he allow me to continue this to try to convert the gays and other people that are a abomination to the lord? I want to still dress and try to witness to people and I want to do this for the Lord. What do you think?

Well, what would Jesus do? Can you picture Jesus dressing up as a woman?

We don't convert people to God by breaking His will and doing our own will. We convert people to Christ by doing God's Will and forsaking our own will.

If a thief wants to convert other thieves, does he rob their house first and then tell them THEY need to be saved?

If a prostitute wants to convert other prostitutes, does he/she sleep with them, and preach about God during orgasm?

If a liar wants to convert liars, does he lie to them before telling them the truth?

No. Neither can you convert sinners by conforming to their sin yourself. If you do, you are only conforming to the world, rather than conforming to Christ. We must be the image of God, not the image of sin. If you break God's Law while preaching God, then they will believe it is OK for them to keep on breaking God's Law. They will believe they can keep on doing what they have been doing and be saved. This is deception.

I shall pray for you. Feel free to write me any time. God Bless!

Richard Anthony